


the universe by the boundary

by m_k_ch



Category: Persona 5
Genre: 7th Palace Spoilers, Angst, Guilt, M/M, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 00:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10819545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_k_ch/pseuds/m_k_ch
Summary: "We'll be together again, someday!"





	the universe by the boundary

**Author's Note:**

> au where ryuji dies because of the explosion

He hadn't gone up from his bed ever since he woke up at 6 am.

_Screeching.  
_

_His body felt heavy as he braced himself, the force of the explosion strong and for a few moments, he thought he couldn't feel himself. As if he had died._

"Akira..." Morgana pawed him gently, pushing with a sad mewl and a dropped expression on his face. Akira didn't budge. He wanted to stop feeling, even for a short moment. He wanted everything to be over for awhile. He didn't want to think, and it worsened his feelings more, knowing he was hurting his friends.

It was 11 am.

"Akira, please, get up." Morgana's voice was silent. Akira thinks he's about to cry. He wonders how he sounds like as a cat. 

(A sad, broken meowing pestering him as the guilt gnawed him from inside.)

He thinks, is this his punishment? 

"It's been days. At least try to get out from here."

_No. It shouldn't— he's alive. That's what Akira tried to think._

_They were thrown to the ground, hard and unforgiving, but it didn't matter as he pushed himself up, trying to find Ryuji around the corners. The sounds were muffled as everyone screamed Ryuji's name, desparate and breaking. He didn't care if police were to find them; all that mattered was finding Ryuji._

"Boss, is Akira here?"

(Not now, not now)

Akira didn't hear a deep voice reply, only the mixed sounds of a group repeatedly calling for his name. They should have called for Ryuji instead. They should have found him instead. 

Yet Ryuji was nowhere to be found.

_It wasn't supposed to be like this. This wasn't the plan._

_"Ryuji!" His voice got hoarse. He wonders if he could've just held Ryuji back instead of letting him go._

_(He tightly clutched his hand before letting Ryuji run off, putting his skills to the test one last time._

_"I'll be fine, leader.")_

"Akira, how long are you going to keep yourself locked there?!"

"Ann—"

The footsteps were loud, but Akira didn't turn to them. He kept his back faced to the wall, unwavering; paralyzed.

_He was limp under his hold._

_No. Fuck, no, this wasn't happening._

_"Ryuji."_

_Ryuji wasn't moving, and his chest was tight— he couldn't breathe. His breaths were crooked but he still held Ryuji, unresponsive and body scorched and moist with blood._

_This can't be fucking happening._

_"Wake up, Ryuji!" His voice hurt, but it didn't stop him. He couldn't hear himself screaming his name, only hearing the pounding of his heart in his ears._

_His hands were wet from the warmth of his blood, Ryuji's arms limped and head lolled to the side. His mouth was opened disturbingly._

_He kept calling out for him. This wasn't supposed to happen, Ryuji was alive, Ryuji was alive, smirked still etched on his face— Ryuji was not dead, that was the fact—_

Hands pulled him up and he was pushed against the wall, Ann's tears spilling on him as she yelled at him. "Akira, why can't you answer?!"

He couldn't reply, he kept his head down as he avoided Ann's eyes, piercing him through his very core. 

"Ann, that's enough." Makoto's voice was meek, holding authority but on the verge of tipping over the edge. Ann let Akira go with a shove, and suddenly the room fell quiet. Akira wanted to them to continue, he wanted the voices to keep distracting him from lingering on the memory over and over again. He wanted Ann to scream at him, to punch him and blame him, _because it's your fault you let him go. He's dead. It's your fault._

"Akira," Haru's voice broke into a sob, breaths hitching as she tried to convey her message. "You didn't go to the funeral."

Akira's head turned to the side. He doesn't want to answer. He wasn't obliged to. _Let me be, here. I'm fine here._

It was quiet, but everyone was crying. He didn't need to look up. He can see the tears fall down the floor, their body rigid. Morgana only looked at him, pitiful and small.

_He was wet, it was gross, he smelled intensely of blood and his vision blurred as his tears wet his glasses and his face. His skin was mixed with sweat, blood, and his cries, his pleas of wanting Ryuji alive. He didn't see who was huddled near him, he only felt his friends nearby, their cries mixing with his, their hands clutched on both Ryuji's body and each other._

_(Please, Ryuji, touch me one last time, please)_

Joker was strong. Akira was not.

Seeing Ryuji clean and placed in white meant accepting that he's truly gone.

"Goddamnit, Akira." Futaba whispered. Yusuke kept silent, his words failing him to truly express what he felt. He only stayed beside Futaba, whose hand clutched his sleeve like a lifeline. Ann's fists were balled in front of him, knuckles white and hands trembling.

Akira wonders, if his fingers hadn't slipped when Ryuji ran. 

_Ryuji gave him the most subtle of kisses, lips ghosting on the corner of Akira's lips. Akira only wished he had leaned, to fully feel him._

_("Will you go back, y'know, when your probation is over?"_

_Akira only kept still, his hand only holding Ryuji's tightly._

_"Don't act so gloomy!" Ryuji beamed. "I promise, I'll visit you whenever I can. We'll be together again, someday!")_

 

**Author's Note:**

> ewe i love using flashbacks in my writing.
> 
> im not exactly proud of this. also im sorry for not taking any note of akechi there, i just wanted to test the waters with the pegoryu dynamic. it was all in the spur of the moment, so this fic is both indulgent and a self study.
> 
> im @atohiyo at twitter if you wanna kill me


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